Continually Working At It

A couple of my friends have voiced to me how they view Mike and I as the "perfect couple".  Haha.  If they only knew the real truth behind the matter.  Call it whatever you want to call it, but the truth is...things REALLY do look different from the inside.  Yes, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, nor should they, but all in all...relationships are WORK.  Just because you have been with that person for a couple months, years...dating, engaged, married, living together...doesn't mean that trying to please the other person stops.  Do or die, the work continues.
Yes we recently were married.  Does it feel any different than the past 5+ years?  Negative.  That is another question that we have been bombarded with:  HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MARRIED?  The same.  Regardless of the name change, regardless of the legalities...we are still working on our relationship.  It hasn't stopped.  Fighting, bickering, arguing doesn't stop once there's a ring on your finger...doesn't stop when you have your first child...doesn't stop when your first child won't go to sleep at night...doesn't stop when you've worked 50 hours a week, still need to take care of your family, still need to take care of your significant other...let alone yourself.  So just because you stood up in a white dress and him in a fancy tux, doesn't mean that it's a fairy-tale with a fairy-tale ending.  It's back to reality the next day.
I live by the motto that it's the "choices you make".  Because really, it is.  People can grumble and grumble about how unhappy they are in a relationship, how unhappy they are because they are single, how unhappy they are because their spouse or significant other doesn't treat them the way they think they should be treated.  Well, choose carefully then.  If you value your relationship and choose to work on it when the going gets tough, more power to you...but if you are already passed that point, let it go.  Every single outcome has already been made because of a choice you made prior to that, and the choices you make that leads up to that point.
I don't believe in fate, I believe that word was made up by some girl who repeatedly chose the wrong men and when she actually layed out her expectations and let that one guy know that she respected herself, gave us that term.  Everything does not happen for a reason people, get that one out of your head too. 
All in all, after everything that I have learned and am still learning...I have respect for myself and my relationship.  Even though sometimes there may be more bad days than good days, it's those great days and deep level of connection that makes me want to work on it.  It's that that I am choosing to be in.